I have been trying to write something perhaps related to my thoughts during the time of Advent and Christmas, but nothing has really come out onto paper as I hoped it would. Words did not flow, or seemed exceedingly theoretical. Therefore, I decided to write about an experience I am going through at the moment.
Currently I am in the process of packing my entire life into 2 suitcases. I have moved (sort of) before, but it involved multiple trips, cases, furniture, pictures, papers... But this time, I do not have that luxury.
This has been a very disillusioning experience - in the sense of the freeing of illusion - because the more I look at all the material things gathered over the past 23 years, the more I realise no one person in the world can use all this. I look at wardrobes overflowing with things, and I think of refugees that leave home with only a backpack, or people who lost everything in floods, fires and hurricanes. I think of all the clothes of brands that, later after purchasing them, were found to have a great deal of illegal slave work in making the garments. I think of all the underpaid people in China, Taiwan, Indonesia, Brazil that are a part of the process to make everything - from fabric, to sewing, to boxing, to transporting, to selling until it comes beautifully made, wrapped and hung in my wardrobe. A beautiful piece that hides suffering and costs freedom and lives of many.
It frustrates me and saddens me that at some point I started believing the lies of a materialistic society that there is no such thing as "enough". We are told by our context to live in a logic of lack - we are constantly focusing on that which we do not yet have, what we are not - rather than a logic of thankfulness for what we do have. We become petty, shallow and pathetic people that already cannot carry what we have, and are yet chasing the bone industries through for us to make them profit. A machine that works in a sick, greedy setting that makes few grow and profit with a cost of things much more valuable than money: freedom, life, dignity.
A painful realisation, is that this is not temporary or unique to our society. Greed has taken many forms over history and has destroyed many people. Perhaps it is because with more money and belongings we feel safer - we believe we are achieving some form of meaning in our earthly lives (only to then find out in our dying beds that no money in the world can make us immortal). Perhaps we believe that having much means that we are being blessed, and therefore all is right with our soul. Or maybe we think our value as human beings is directly proportional to how much we own. I do not know a reason for it, but what I do know is any form of such justifications are blatant lies.
Firstly, ownership is a plainly foolish belief. As C.S.Lewis puts in Screwtape Letters, claims of "mine" sound equally absurd in Haven or in Hell; we will eventually find out who our time, our bodies, our efforts, our things belong to - if they belong to God or to Satan. Secondly, what we are are stewards of that which is given into our care - this means that pure temporary stewardship of money is not wrong any more than having a particular skill, intelligence, talent or ability - but we are accountable for how these are used, and what we believe them to be. If we believe they are ours by right or that our overall value is improved by having such gifts, then we are proud - and thus are not serving God with them. Also, if living in that logic we become self centred and selfish - we serve our idols and ourselves, instead of God.
In Matthew 19.16-22 and Mark 10.17-31, we can see two different accounts of Jesus having a dialogue with someone with many possessions but that sought out his Teacher to find eternal life - he studied, he learnt the commandments, and sought to learn more from Jesus. However, when told to sell all he had, give money to the poor, and follow Jesus, he couldn't. This passage puzzles me. Did he see more meaning in possessions than eternal life? Did he not really believe in Jesus? I don't know his heart. But what I do know is that in my much milder calling of "put your possessions only into 2 cases and follow me" seems like child's play! But still, at many times, I see something and am reluctant to give it away - either because I know how many months of allowance I had to save up to get it, or because of remembering who gave it, multiple reasons flood into my brain at the moment. But I have mostly found that rather than reasons, they are excuses. Because, if I were to think honestly - are there not many other people that need these things much more than I do? Is it not better for that coat to heat someone in the cold winter, or those shoes to protect someone's feet from all sorts of wounds or infections? But it is easier to ignore this harsh reality
The truth is, for a true follower of Christ this should not be a difficult job. When generosity does not come easily, many things can have influence over that - loving ourselves too much in the form of pride, telling us we need it more than anyone else or that 'we deserved it because of working for it'; lack of love compassion, failing to see God's image and likeness in the other and therefore using differences as barriers between us and the other; perhaps even plain negligence and failure to look beyond our own safe bubble; or excessive love for possessions, greed - but it definitely means something is wrong in our hearts.
And setting aside our love of possessions has a great deal of impact on our approach to others, I believe. I say this from an experience I had about 3 years ago, when I was in a very bad emotional place. I felt like God was in the process of taking away from me many 'safety lines', things I thought were important in defining who I was. We were struggling financially, struggling as a family, people I loved very much left my life, and my last safety line (prestige, studies and a label of 'intelligent') was not supporting me in a course I had no vocation for. It was like all these things were the leaves I was covering myself and my shame with, somewhat like Adam and Eve - and so the removal of them made me feel exposed. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, empty and fragile. My hands were empty of things I held dear, like there was nothing more of mine to be taken away. (Note: obviously there was much more that could be taken away, God was very merciful in the way the process occurred! I was just too absorbed in self pity to realise that!)
But I remember one day in particular, I was going home from univeristy. I was sitting in the bus and I saw two people that were clearly asian foreigners, but I couldn't place where from. They were speaking a language I couldn't understand, and I really did not want to do anything but sulk and stupidly feel sorry for myself. Until one of them asked for help in english, and I responded saying I did speak english. They were going to the same city I was, and so I said I would tell them when to get off the bus. My focus began to change away from myself. I looked at that situation, and I realised I had nothing to lose. I felt so many things dear to me had been taken away, that any form of fear or apprehension was stupid. So I took them to the city, got them subway tickets and took them to the station they had to go. They asked me curious "Why are you being so nice? Thank you!" They took pictures with me on the subway platform and gave me their e-mail - "In case you in China need help!". I chuckled to myself as I waved the two Chinese men goodbye and as I realised that feeling low, tired and useless - without any security blankets - that is when your walls come down.
Any time walking out in the street with something very valuable, it is easy to shy away from people that feel/seem menacing, but going out with no cash and nothing particularly valuable it is much easier to stop and talk to people, because we stop living in fear of loss.
And so, perhaps with the realisation of the absurdity of calling anything "ours" - either material possessions, or degrees, or talents, or even people dear to us - and see that these are all things that belong to God and which we are only stewards of, that he can take them away as easily as they were given, we cease to live in fear and anxiety. Loss is no longer an issue, because these things never actually belonged to us - they were merely lent to us. And so it is easier to live in the fluctuations of events and circumstances when the One that is most important, the only One necessary is unshakable and has promised He himself will "never leave or forsake us" (Deuteronomy 31.6), and that is enough. This, perhaps, is the true source of peace.
And, after thinking about all this, putting any 'possessions' into 2 suitcases and following Him and His will (which has been left pretty clear over the last few months) seems like a very generous and kind way of starting me off in the journey to leave the notion of "mine" behind.
terça-feira, 29 de dezembro de 2015
sábado, 12 de dezembro de 2015
The enslaving of minds
I would not generally consider myself to be a particularly compassionate person. For many years this has been a struggle of mine, and many times my prayer has been that God would give me his eyes for people, to teach me to be more understanding and loving, because this never came naturally to me. Along the years, this has been worked in my heart and slowly certain groups started to get my attention, and so my concern and prayers began to extend to matters beyond those close to my micro universe.
One day I remember particularly struck me was when a missionary working in Japan was talking about his work there, and started describing his trips in other countries in Asia. One place he stayed in to work for some time was a Christian home were girls rescued from sex trafficking were kept - many times they were sold by their own families. Some of them, as young as eleven or twelve. For some reason, this gave me a dreadful feeling of sadness, frustration and, well, rage with the world, that this could be done - something I can only classify as being 'compassion'. Since then, victims of sex trafficking have been close to my heart and prayers.
According to the International labor organisation, as many as 4.5 million people are victims of forced sexual exploitation in work - this is equivalent to the entire population of Ireland - the majority of which (over 98%, according to certain statistics) are women and girls. These statistics alone are already disheartening. However, yesterday as I listened to the lyrics in multiple popular pop songs, I realised that these numbers are just a natural consequence to an issue that runs far deeper and much more subtly than human trafficking.
Coming from a cultural context that is very concerned with aesthetics, the constant pressure women are under to always look in a particular way is overwhelming. The image portrayed in the media in Brazil is that of unanimously thin women with hair dyed and styled, make up and fashionable clothing, apart from the constant use of high heels. Cosmetic procedures have very high numbers (as I described in a previous post); the amount of money Brazilian women spend on hair and nails (approximately 20 million) surpasses that which is spent on education (approximately 18 million). Girls grow up being told by media and families that their sole purpose in life is to be married, and to be a mom. Essentially, we are told we must be desirable to hopefully be 'picked' by someone, and so - only when attached to a man - will we have value.
And so, as I thought about this culture which, certainly is not unique to Brazil, and as I thought of the lyrics of songs which make women into sexual objects, erroneously calling 'love' that which is actually lust, I realised that those in trafficking are not only the ones being beaten and forced to work for pimps.
Our minds are suffering violence daily by the lies that our context tells us. We are told we are not good enough, that our phenotype must fit absurd standards - and it is our fault if we do not. Treatments to lose weight, diets that decay the body, many times culminating in eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. The chains holding us in this dark hatred towards our bodies are not around our hands and we have no shackles on our ankles - but the chains are those of the mind, as we are brainwashed to believe that our function in society is to look beautiful (whatever that means). We then proceed to spending money, time and health - cosmetic surgeries have multiple risks, apart from the dangers in the use of cosmetics, ranging from paraphormaldehyde (normally used for preserving cadavers and tissue), which is used in treatments to straighten hair, up to lipsticks containing lead for the colour to last longer, which is toxic.
This abuse is disguised daily in the advertisements of products of needs created by companies that state you must look in a particular way. It is also in the companies that hire women because of how they look, and state they should loose weight, or wear more make up, or be dressed in a particular weight to please the clients. It is in the soul crushing words of friends and family that say that a woman has no inherent value as a human being while she does not get a husband - and it is entirely her fault if she has not. It is concealed in the quiet words of insult coming from spouses, partners or boyfriends saying the women are ageing (and thus should dye hair/do surgery/change their bodies), or saying they should look a particular way for them, and blackmail emotionally to get what they want because these women already are emotionally vulnerable.
What this does, it constructs a system in which women and girls cease to love themselves. They live solely to please others and many times subject themselves to abusive situations with abusive partners because they were never taught to be 'loved' in another way - as I heard once, "We only accept the love we feel good enough for".
Capitalism feeds off of low self esteem, because it is easier to create needs for those who are unhappy and feel insufficient - that are trying to fit a particular image - than it is to create needs for those who feel loved and content looking another way entirely. And so it breaks the mind to the extend this oppressive context becomes normal. Ultimately, we are enslaved by ideas that break us and bind us in a culture of death, competition and hatred that has no mercy towards those who look or think differently.
In seeking value or even fame and power women willingly become slaves to such ideals that diminish themselves and others. The music industry, the film industry mostly have a sexual approach of the image of the woman - they must look sexually attractive, and many times sing lyrics that make them no less than an object. This culture has become embedded to such an extent, that it has been generally accepted as normal. Physical chains are no longer necessary, because our sense of value has been decayed to the extent it has become a choice. Rather than our bodies being trafficked to be sold, our minds have been kidnapped, bound and sold for the benefit of the industry.
One of such industries is the pornographic. In a study done in the US, it has been found that 66% of young men and 18% of young women see pornography at least once a week. In a survey done with college students, 93% of boys and 62% of girls said they were exposed to pornography before they turned 18 and in a study made with 50 of the top movies in the industry, up to 88% of scenes in porn films have sexual aggression, and 49% contain verbal aggression. What this means, is that from a young age and, many times, into adulthood both women and men are exposed to and have regular exposure to the notion that this is the normal way that relationships function, and so men are taught this is the way to treat a woman and women are taught this is the way to be treated.
Pornography is known to be as addicting as any drug. The neurological circuitry activated is the same one as with other addictions such as drug and food addiction, and as such, it too has been found to desensitise the brain to dopamine (a neurotransmitter related to pleasure and happiness, preventing the person from feeling such things), and has also been found to make the brain shrink. Also, studies have found that men who pay for sex and/or watch porn tend to be considerably more aggressive towards women and to objectify them more.
These industries that break people, ultimately result in broken relationships and the ideas slipped in by media translate into acts of hate by diminishing the inherent value of a human being. The expressions of hate escalate to the extent that relationships become verbally and physically abusive - 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence. Let me put this into perspective: out of every 10 women you meet, between 3 and 4 of these have suffered abuse, and many times this ends in death: 38% of murders of women are committed by partners. Apart from this, the surviving victims suffer from multiple psychological and physical issues such as anxiety and depression (2.6 times more likely than other people) and alcohol abuse (2.3 times more likely).
The point that I am trying to get across is how simple and small things in culture - starting with telling a girl her value is in the man she gets, and she should look in a particular way - are only small signalling factors to issues that spread far and wide - to porn, domestic violence and culminates in sex trafficking - creating a culture of death to which many of us may be contributing without even being aware of this.
Many times it is easy to say that we disagree with many things in our culture - perhaps even be upset by abuse, human trafficking or even other issues not mentioned here, such as destruction of the environment, or slave labor. But we cannot simply shrug and say 'it was them': we too are part of mankind, and we too are accounted guilty. We cannot wash our hands when we too are perpetrators - even if on different scales. The person that abuses verbally a woman, the person who consumes porn, the other that buys a sex slave and the pimp are all links in the chain that contribute, ultimately, to death - of the mind and the body.
The changes can only arise in the culture surrounding us by living in a counter-culture that is an entirely different direction: we too are humans and we too are responsible for the wrong and the pain inflicted by humanity. And, once convicted, it is our responsibility to analyse and diagnose the actual changes in conduct, in the way we see and treat each other, that must be done to break the link in the chain we might be part of. Otherwise we are accomplices of hatred, abuse and murder.
(The sources for the data presented are here, here, here and here)
One day I remember particularly struck me was when a missionary working in Japan was talking about his work there, and started describing his trips in other countries in Asia. One place he stayed in to work for some time was a Christian home were girls rescued from sex trafficking were kept - many times they were sold by their own families. Some of them, as young as eleven or twelve. For some reason, this gave me a dreadful feeling of sadness, frustration and, well, rage with the world, that this could be done - something I can only classify as being 'compassion'. Since then, victims of sex trafficking have been close to my heart and prayers.
According to the International labor organisation, as many as 4.5 million people are victims of forced sexual exploitation in work - this is equivalent to the entire population of Ireland - the majority of which (over 98%, according to certain statistics) are women and girls. These statistics alone are already disheartening. However, yesterday as I listened to the lyrics in multiple popular pop songs, I realised that these numbers are just a natural consequence to an issue that runs far deeper and much more subtly than human trafficking.
Coming from a cultural context that is very concerned with aesthetics, the constant pressure women are under to always look in a particular way is overwhelming. The image portrayed in the media in Brazil is that of unanimously thin women with hair dyed and styled, make up and fashionable clothing, apart from the constant use of high heels. Cosmetic procedures have very high numbers (as I described in a previous post); the amount of money Brazilian women spend on hair and nails (approximately 20 million) surpasses that which is spent on education (approximately 18 million). Girls grow up being told by media and families that their sole purpose in life is to be married, and to be a mom. Essentially, we are told we must be desirable to hopefully be 'picked' by someone, and so - only when attached to a man - will we have value.
And so, as I thought about this culture which, certainly is not unique to Brazil, and as I thought of the lyrics of songs which make women into sexual objects, erroneously calling 'love' that which is actually lust, I realised that those in trafficking are not only the ones being beaten and forced to work for pimps.
Our minds are suffering violence daily by the lies that our context tells us. We are told we are not good enough, that our phenotype must fit absurd standards - and it is our fault if we do not. Treatments to lose weight, diets that decay the body, many times culminating in eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. The chains holding us in this dark hatred towards our bodies are not around our hands and we have no shackles on our ankles - but the chains are those of the mind, as we are brainwashed to believe that our function in society is to look beautiful (whatever that means). We then proceed to spending money, time and health - cosmetic surgeries have multiple risks, apart from the dangers in the use of cosmetics, ranging from paraphormaldehyde (normally used for preserving cadavers and tissue), which is used in treatments to straighten hair, up to lipsticks containing lead for the colour to last longer, which is toxic.
This abuse is disguised daily in the advertisements of products of needs created by companies that state you must look in a particular way. It is also in the companies that hire women because of how they look, and state they should loose weight, or wear more make up, or be dressed in a particular weight to please the clients. It is in the soul crushing words of friends and family that say that a woman has no inherent value as a human being while she does not get a husband - and it is entirely her fault if she has not. It is concealed in the quiet words of insult coming from spouses, partners or boyfriends saying the women are ageing (and thus should dye hair/do surgery/change their bodies), or saying they should look a particular way for them, and blackmail emotionally to get what they want because these women already are emotionally vulnerable.
What this does, it constructs a system in which women and girls cease to love themselves. They live solely to please others and many times subject themselves to abusive situations with abusive partners because they were never taught to be 'loved' in another way - as I heard once, "We only accept the love we feel good enough for".
Capitalism feeds off of low self esteem, because it is easier to create needs for those who are unhappy and feel insufficient - that are trying to fit a particular image - than it is to create needs for those who feel loved and content looking another way entirely. And so it breaks the mind to the extend this oppressive context becomes normal. Ultimately, we are enslaved by ideas that break us and bind us in a culture of death, competition and hatred that has no mercy towards those who look or think differently.
In seeking value or even fame and power women willingly become slaves to such ideals that diminish themselves and others. The music industry, the film industry mostly have a sexual approach of the image of the woman - they must look sexually attractive, and many times sing lyrics that make them no less than an object. This culture has become embedded to such an extent, that it has been generally accepted as normal. Physical chains are no longer necessary, because our sense of value has been decayed to the extent it has become a choice. Rather than our bodies being trafficked to be sold, our minds have been kidnapped, bound and sold for the benefit of the industry.
One of such industries is the pornographic. In a study done in the US, it has been found that 66% of young men and 18% of young women see pornography at least once a week. In a survey done with college students, 93% of boys and 62% of girls said they were exposed to pornography before they turned 18 and in a study made with 50 of the top movies in the industry, up to 88% of scenes in porn films have sexual aggression, and 49% contain verbal aggression. What this means, is that from a young age and, many times, into adulthood both women and men are exposed to and have regular exposure to the notion that this is the normal way that relationships function, and so men are taught this is the way to treat a woman and women are taught this is the way to be treated.
Pornography is known to be as addicting as any drug. The neurological circuitry activated is the same one as with other addictions such as drug and food addiction, and as such, it too has been found to desensitise the brain to dopamine (a neurotransmitter related to pleasure and happiness, preventing the person from feeling such things), and has also been found to make the brain shrink. Also, studies have found that men who pay for sex and/or watch porn tend to be considerably more aggressive towards women and to objectify them more.
These industries that break people, ultimately result in broken relationships and the ideas slipped in by media translate into acts of hate by diminishing the inherent value of a human being. The expressions of hate escalate to the extent that relationships become verbally and physically abusive - 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence. Let me put this into perspective: out of every 10 women you meet, between 3 and 4 of these have suffered abuse, and many times this ends in death: 38% of murders of women are committed by partners. Apart from this, the surviving victims suffer from multiple psychological and physical issues such as anxiety and depression (2.6 times more likely than other people) and alcohol abuse (2.3 times more likely).
The point that I am trying to get across is how simple and small things in culture - starting with telling a girl her value is in the man she gets, and she should look in a particular way - are only small signalling factors to issues that spread far and wide - to porn, domestic violence and culminates in sex trafficking - creating a culture of death to which many of us may be contributing without even being aware of this.
Many times it is easy to say that we disagree with many things in our culture - perhaps even be upset by abuse, human trafficking or even other issues not mentioned here, such as destruction of the environment, or slave labor. But we cannot simply shrug and say 'it was them': we too are part of mankind, and we too are accounted guilty. We cannot wash our hands when we too are perpetrators - even if on different scales. The person that abuses verbally a woman, the person who consumes porn, the other that buys a sex slave and the pimp are all links in the chain that contribute, ultimately, to death - of the mind and the body.
The changes can only arise in the culture surrounding us by living in a counter-culture that is an entirely different direction: we too are humans and we too are responsible for the wrong and the pain inflicted by humanity. And, once convicted, it is our responsibility to analyse and diagnose the actual changes in conduct, in the way we see and treat each other, that must be done to break the link in the chain we might be part of. Otherwise we are accomplices of hatred, abuse and murder.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
- Romans 12.1-2 (NIV)
(The sources for the data presented are here, here, here and here)
sexta-feira, 4 de dezembro de 2015
Análise sintática
O problema não é o muito amar
(Ou o assim dizer)
O problema é logo se declarar
Sem nem mesmo conhecer
O amor tem sim um alto custo
Em vez de só adjetivar o sujeito
Analisa: qual é o seu defeito?
Qual o seu conjugar do verbo ser?
Cuidado se o sujeito é oculto:
Afinal, ninguém (além do pretérito) é perfeito.
Pode ser um sujeito sincero
Ou como simples classificado
Quiçá nem mesmo valha o esmero
E nenhum verbo foi conjugado.
Mas às vezes a sintaxe tem concordância
O tempo conjuga um novo amar pelo sujeito
Amizade é transitiva, pede algo mais!
O sujeito recebe maior relevância:
Mesmo sabendo contar os defeitos...
Ao sujeito simples, adiciona-se um aposto
O oposto de desistir, algo novo então se faz
E dois sujeitos simples tornam-se um só sujeito composto
(Ou o assim dizer)
O problema é logo se declarar
Sem nem mesmo conhecer
O amor tem sim um alto custo
Em vez de só adjetivar o sujeito
Analisa: qual é o seu defeito?
Qual o seu conjugar do verbo ser?
Cuidado se o sujeito é oculto:
Afinal, ninguém (além do pretérito) é perfeito.
Pode ser um sujeito sincero
Ou como simples classificado
Quiçá nem mesmo valha o esmero
E nenhum verbo foi conjugado.
Mas às vezes a sintaxe tem concordância
O tempo conjuga um novo amar pelo sujeito
Amizade é transitiva, pede algo mais!
O sujeito recebe maior relevância:
Mesmo sabendo contar os defeitos...
Ao sujeito simples, adiciona-se um aposto
O oposto de desistir, algo novo então se faz
E dois sujeitos simples tornam-se um só sujeito composto
quinta-feira, 3 de dezembro de 2015
The lonely lies of social media
Brazil is the second country on the list of countries with most use of social media, only behind the USA. Alone it is responsible for 10% of the time spent on social media worldwide, and the average Brazilian uses the internet for at least 5 hours. However, Brazilians also spend approximately 4,5 hours per day watching television. Which combined with the time on the internet, consists of 9,5 hours per day spent with information being poured into our brains.
Recently, I also did a research and found in a ISAPS international survey that Brazil and USA are also countries that dispute the top of rankings regarding the biggest percentage in number of aesthetic/cosmetic surgery. Both are also top ranking countries regarding percentage of population diagnosed with depression, Brazil holding 7th (14% of total population, 66% of which are women) and USA holding first (with 17% of population). Though these are complex social issues which I could not dream of knowing for sure - and thus all I rant about from here on, is mere speculation - I find it hard to believe that these issues are non-related.
Although social media has it's importance as a means of communication and for news to be shared - since I do not watch television, it's how I keep up with news about the world and scientific field news - priorities in social media are pretty messed up. When considering the aspect of people posting about their own news, the internet is merciless. If someone posts something about how they actually feel, naïvely answering facebook's question "How are you feeling today?" or "What's on your mind?", brace yourself, because if you are not praising your own life, showing how awesome you and your events are, or exhibiting your looks, skills or intelligence, brace yourself. If you are feeling discouraged, weak and present an honest description, people tell you to talk to a psychologist instead of facebook. This is the internet. There is no room for the weak, for the ordinary, for the unhandsome.
Studies have been made that show that it is easier to be honest (and, often, hurtful) through technology because it depersonifies people. It is easier to show hate through a computer screen than it is to a human made of flesh and bone. It is easier to shame, curse and threaten a thumbnail picture and name than it is to someone standing in front of you. It makes it harder to develop empathy when there is no emotional feedback when interacting through indirect means of communication.
What this means, is that involuntarily we begin to build an internet alias, the person we want to come across as being. An alias?, one may ask. But that is my name, and those are things happening in my life, I am not lying! Yes, but there is plenty of omission. The pictures posted only consist of the best angles, the best pictures. The stories posted are only the praiseworthy. The thoughts posted are only the popular ones among followers, seeking interest and likes. Humans are social beings, and we crave acceptance and attention.
Scrolling down your timeline suddenly becomes a depressing activity: reading about everyone's awesome lives, how happy they are, how much they have achieved, how good looking they are, you start to wonder: what is wrong with me? Why do I not feel happy like that all the time? Am I doing something wrong? So you start to try to fit in by, rather than presenting who you are, the image that you want to portray.
The alias constructed may have many forms. It may showcase your beauty - through plenty of selfies, or it can show how cultured you are by the quotes posted. It can show your awesome life through pictures of trips, holidays, parties and events. Look at how popular, smart and beautiful I am. Look at all the friends I have. We behave mostly like children craving, instead of little stars of praise, we crave thumbs up and likes. We begin to believe that our value is in what we post.
What this means is that all people have this unspoken agreement to only post things that exalt themselves, pats their pride and satisfies - even if merely by illusion - the inherent human need to be loved.
Truthfuly, this is purely symptomatic of our context. After our minds being numbed down for 39.58% of our day, through advertisements in television and on the internet, we take up marketing too in our social interactions and try to pour into other people's minds the need of interest in you, and reasons why you are important, influential, successful, happy. We advertise ourselves as though we were a product to be consumed. But that is the very issue. We are no longer people. We are products.
This permeates not only social media and internet interaction, but it spreads into our other interactions too. We may try to fit the image as much as possible - and in come fake fabricated events, shallow relationships that never reach the real people, plastic surgery, make up and clothing to portray that image we want to get across. Our life becomes a constant show and spectacle because we fear how people would react if we were to show our real selves.
Eventually, the show can't go on. Either we break under the pressure - causing all sorts of psychological issues and, many times, suicide - or the image cannot be fabricated. Perhaps we age and our intelligence is not as it was, our looks age and we are no longer young and beautiful, we lose money and become uninteresting, obsolete.When people realise we are not actually what we pretended to be - that we are humans made of flesh and blood, that have emotions, hurt, a complex history, we are treated like a product that did not fit the advertised qualities. The logic of purchasing and using a product for self benefit ('the costumer is always right') is transported from the marketplace into the way we interact with each other.
The same way we were taught that others are perfect products, and were merciless in our judgement, this comes back to us. Ultimately, like the product we made ourselves to be, we are used, consumed and discarded. And so a cycle of hatred, lack of love and empathy and, in the end, loneliness begins to take its toll; although humanity never has been so connected as it is through so many means of communication, none of our 800 friends are anywhere within sight - except that handful that know you are more than a source of news, status, or looks. Those that know you are human.
How can we break the cycle? How can we break social media addiction? The addiction to the illusion of acceptance? How can we stop drowning our minds in produced information and concepts that murder our relationships and humanity?
The internet ends up making us exalt ourselves, and the qualities exalted are generally individualistic and self beneficial: beauty, wealth, intelligence, status, etc. However, by changing our basis of values in our mind, instead of aesthetic surgery, we end up doing mind and soul surgery - we change the things that are important. By regarding virtues such as faithfulness, gentleness, patience, love, as higher, and by seeking such virtues, the focus changes entirely from one's self to the other. What happens is not that all the other qualities cease to exist; they may still exist, but they are not important for someone to have value. And too, if they do exist in a person that has other virtues as priorities, they are not used for self benefit: the intelligence and wealth can be used in favor of others, for example. Beauty ceases to be a competition, and can just be something pleasant to be appreciated - but definitely does not change or define the value of a person. And in a society that every advertisement highlights how important you are and how this product will benefit you, and make you be loved and appreciated, changing the way we interact with each other by seeing the other as the focus, the one to be exalted, is a rebellion in itself. And, perhaps, all that needs to happen to begin a revolution.
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