In a society of people that want to be heard, it is a rebellion to be silent. At times, it is easy to find one's self empty of words, just listening to conversation and easily with the mind drifting away in the currents of recent events and just no desire to engage in energetic conversation or display opinions, simply because there is too much to be said. Sometimes the mind is too full to spill out.
Having an overflowing mind does not translate into lips overflowing with words. Actually, it rarely does do so - and when it does, very seldom they are the right ones. Any word, attempt of communication seems feeble and insufficient and childish. It is when our minds fill that we find how foolish we are to think that words are the best means of communication for all kinds of knowledge, documents, letters, news, emotion. They are simply not good enough.
Rather than giving wings to our imagination, relationships and minds, words are more like cages.
Some people have the ability to display them eloquently and convey message, meaning and feeling very accurately - but I'm afraid there are very few people gifted to do so. It is those people that dive into reality and into the messiness that spoken language is and know how to translate one to the other. Those are the people with equal power to love the world, start a revolution or start a war. Those are the people burdened with eloquence, with the responsibility of holding one of the most effective ways to encourage, to change the world or to destroy it with the deadly ammunition that words prove themselves to be. Words are cages, and clumsy, but if handled wisely they can soothe or pierce the soul with equal surprising accuracy in both restoration and destruction.
However, though words hold such great power, they may be overrated proportionally to how much silence is underrated. I like to think that the fact that silence can so easily be uncomfortable is the indicator that silence can be much more accomplished than any amount of words in relationships. It is only the closest and the dearest that are perfectly content to be side by side sharing silence. It is a gift that develops with time and recognition that what exists between people goes beyond all eloquence and words. Henri Nouwen puts it in an interesting way:
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Silence comes along also with introspection and fullness of mind and of heart in the perception that not all the language in the world would be enough to convey what is in a person. At best, it would be insufficient.
Of course, this is not taking away merit of communication and how much words aid us in engaging with each other, but I believe they are far from being the best and most efficient in doing so. It takes a great deal of skill and of talent to say the right words in the right way, in the right time. However, most things can be communicated most effectively with no words at all. The same universe inside each human being that we get a glimpse to through every word, we see it much more honestly and less edited through actions and gestures. What one does does not depend on one's opinion or image of one's self, it is the closest to their soul that we may get.
Words can much more easily be deceiving and dependent on what a person wishes to convey of themselves, rather than what we actually are.
A beautiful speech is absolutely useless if it is not lived out, however no speech at all is necessary when all the messages are translated into life and reality through actions and behaviour. A leader who inspires people to follow without the need of using eloquence and fancy statements will be followed much more faithfully, because he lives out rather than speaking out.
When a parent yells to a child saying "You cannot yell to people!", which will be most engrained in their brain: the words, or the action? What use is it to say eloquent verses of admiration or say beautiful promises that one does not intend to keep when this same love and admiration cannot be observed in what is done? How can we live with contradictions between the words and all that is said in silence? How do two people, two clashing images - the one in speeches and the one in reality - fit in one? Most of the time, it just doesn't make sense. It's messy. It's contradictory and schizophrenic. Which is why, many times disposing of words can be the most honest thing one can do.
Ultimately, I think what I am trying to say - in a surprisingly ironic and contradictory way - is:
Words are futile for anything worth being said.
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